Damn, I need some sleep. FUCK IT!
I never thought I'd put my social life above school. I just got home from a Cinco de Mayo party... I'm so over those. Fuck, I'm celebrating Diez de Junio bitches!!!! Anyone wanna join me? I'm gonna get fuckin trashed and chill really hard the next day!!!! WHOOOOO!!!!!!!! :/
Anyway, so look at me! I'm going to GNC later this week and I'm gonna buy some protein powder. Then I'm going to my gym and I'm gonna go apeshit all over their equipment for like an hour, then come home all sweaty and eat a steak!!! I will do this 6 times a week and rest on Wednesday. Just a random day I picked just now. Seriously though the gym and protein thing is true. I'm sick of being a twig. Lol, it's not like I have a bad body... I just want it to be bigger. C'mon just give me some PROPS!!!!
I got T's number. I don't know why I'm still dwelling on this. I thought I was over it. Hey, he seems to really like me, and I like attention. He asks Dana about me all the time. :) I guess I'm likeable... ha right? :( Don't answer that.
I'm really trying not to fail any of my classes this semester but I'm not doing a good job. Here's to 2 weeks from now when I won't fucking care to remember what happened at this time!
I'll be back, I have to type a works cited page...........
Can i get a?......
A hiatus intails coming back... eventually
Okay... so I was on a "life" hiatus from this. Just posting random junk. Well, I'm back.
As you may or may not know I recently got a hair cut! It was a big deal for me. I was growing out my hair for about 4 years. I had dreads and recently I had been underwhelmed with the progress I was making. I didn't like the way they were turning out, they didn't look right on me. The maintenance was pretty lame and the guy doing my hair I think was destroying it every day I went.
So I decided to lop it all off. It might have been one of the best moves of my life. Even though I miss the length, I feel really liberated. I've also been getting a lot of compliments. Mostly from people who've known me for a while. I've been growing my hair ever since I started college so the poeple in my classes were all super surprised. I got some people who didn't even recognize me.
I've gotten comment like "lookin good." to "Taye Diggs" (who I look nothing like,) to "Let's be in a boy band." (This will be another post)
Now I have all intentions of goin out, but I'm still a bit weary. I guess it's hard for me to be seen outside of myself. I'm so different now. Any other day I'd wear tshirts, baggy jeans, head down, and I'd be styling a big chip on my shoulder. Don't forget the hair.
Now I've lost all of that. I have nothing to hide behind. I'm moving forward and it's a little scary. It's easy for me to just go along day by day doing the same thing day in day out, but I don't want that anymore. I can't wait for exciting things to happen to me. I have to make them happen. Now It's vnecks, graphic tees, nice jeans, a smile, and maybe even a laugh.
Oh by the way, one guy from one of my classes asked me for my number so we could "study." lol things are going pretty good.
Oh and thanks J, x!, Yan, and Just Words and everyone else for cheerin me up about the green. lol I wanted a mixture of green and purple to make it feel like home. I think I might toy around with my layout in the future. :D
Back in Action?
The past few days have been hectic. I haven't really been able to see any of my friends, I've been insanely sick taking pills the size of my face, and I have a lot of midterm school work to do. I also kinda miss T. KINDA!
I don't know what to say really, I've been working so hard and subsequently getting stressed that I find no time in my life to cool down. I guess that's what lead to my being sick. Low immunity levels. I bought some Flintstones Gummies with extra C. Yes I am 21 years old. They smell bad, and they're expensive. I'm feeling a hell of a lot better now though.
Of all the school stuff I had to day was one of the most challenging days. I had 2 speeches and a test and a midterm due for the next day. Being sick does not help with your "vocal variety!" However I did well on both the speeches and I think I might have done okay on the test... :/ Who knows.
I feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I want to exclusively concentrate on guys. I just feel lonely now. Accomplished but no one to share the relief with. :(
One day.... One day.
Man handled
I'm preparing for classes at around 6 Wednesday morning. Fun Stuff! I'm not thinking about classes. I'm thinking about the rest of my day. Okay wait! I won't lie. I was a bit worried about what my grade would be on the midterm I took in Business Law. And I was freaked about my test in Organizational Behavior. I didn't put my glasses on when I was typing my paper topic for Business Law. Honestly I'm not sure exactly what ended up on the paper I printed out. I step in the law class, on time for the first time since I started the class. A new leaf has been turned. He sets the tests on the table for everyone to retrieve. Free for all. I sift through each one with every other person in the class invading my personal space. Finally MINE! I sit down in my seat frantically searching for the grade...
225.... 225? What was this out of. 600? No.... 250! 225/250... ???
90%... A! Relieved doesn't begin to describe!
Literally the rest of that class passed by in what seemed to be mere seconds. My next class, Organizational behavior. Test. Not just any test. A midterm... She passes them out almost 10 minutes into class. This is only a 50 minute class. Lucky for us the test was 15 questions. Multiple choice. I was outta there!
Me and D. spent pretty much the whole rest of the day together. It was pretty amazing! First we went to the mall. I had money finally. This was my time. Relax, and spend. I bought a pair of shoes. I haven't had new shoes since last Christmas... and I didn't even buy them. We talked then I bought two polos. We talked some more. She's great. Then I bought a scarf. If you saw the video I posted before this Hok (Australian on Quest Crew) was wearing one exactly like it.... I'm happy now. I haven't bought things for myself in about a year. It's cool to do for yourself once in a while.
Then we played pool and we started talking about T (This is Ponze... I refuse to call him that because it sounds stupid.) Me D and T have talked with eachother for a while and she was telling me about how she notices things.... What things?
She said "it's obvious that you like eachother!"... What?... What makes it obvious?
"The way he looks at you. The way he always touches you when we're talking."
He pats me on the arm, or shoulder, or back every chance he gets. I figured it's just a guy thing. I tried to put it in the back of my mind. No need getting too optimistic. It made me feel good though. The way he looks at me. Those sly touches he gives me when ever he gets the chance. How he spends almost every minute of his off time talking to me. Making up conversations.
Later we went to see Slumdog Millionaire. The movie was great! Very original concept and the actors the ones you see every day. Everything seemed fresh. Frieda Pinto is beautiful, and Dev Patel is talented and awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed it and recomend it.
We ended off at Coffee Cartel and further planned our trip to Chicago and maybe a road trip next year. This had to have been one of the best days ever. I can see there being so much more! I gotta stay positive, positivity is all I have. =)
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PS. ABDC SPOILER ALERT
Quest took it. Yes the men won again. They did good though. I gotta comend them on their performance, but I must say not only did Beat Freaks give them a run for their money they out performed them a lot of times too. Honestly Shane jinxed them and I think he might need to start shuting that pie hole.
BUT GREAT JOB TO BOTH CREWS!
Maybe, it's not meant to be!
I've been doing this school thing for well.... 15 close to 16 years now and I don't think it's working. Granted I love learning with every ounce of my body. I was even teaching myself Japanese for a while! Learning is my passion! I can't get enough of it. I just don't get formal education. It's not that it's hard... it's just sooo mundane! I can't help but walk into a classroom and feel a rush of boredom just pour over me. My eyes start to glaze over and I feel sleep bristling at my shoulders, reaching around and trying to softly shut my eyes as if I'm laying there dead...
Ugh. I skipped class today. This has to be like my 3rd or 4th time. I'm loosing count. I was asleep. I didn't feel productive. It's not like I had anything better to do. i just slept.... It felt good. I hate that. I've been trying to go to class more and more. It's bad enough that my first classes are at 8 in the morning. One of my last classes ends at 10:30 and it's a 4 and a half hour class. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? Not to mention my mind is elsewhere. I'm thinking about love, life, heroes, villains, Japan, Italy, France, Spain, comics, video games, blogs, and food. Everything but my 18 hours of classes. Even now I should be studying for a speech I have to give (That's my 4.5 hour class.) 面倒くさいね
I want to do well, I want to graduate! Ultimately I want to do something with my bachelors degree, earn/save up some money and move to California! I don't want to be here the rest of my life. I can't, I won't allow it! I need to get my attitude straight. I need to weigh the pros and cons. Is one day of sleeping in reallygoing to get me where I need to be. Of course not! Being well rested and being well educated sometimes don't go hand in hand. Maybe I just need a cute guy to keep me coming to class. Yes that would help. Ugh I need to concentrate and do this informational speech. If I don't I will die. I cannot fail Public speaking!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!